Living in the After
by AmongDarkShadows
Summary: The only person Draco can turn to is Hermione because she's the only person w a kind enough heart to be able to put up w him. Fluffy! And M for later chapters - Post DH - not epilogue compliant - DRAMIONE
1. Devoid of Stars

**Living in the After**

**Chapter 1**

"Ted Tonks… Nymphadora Tonks… Remus Lupin…"

The sweltering heat of summer was pounding down on the heads of the massive crowd of witches and wizards that had gathered on the grounds of Hogwarts. It had barely been a month since the Final Battle had ended… the soil beneath their feet was still soaked with the blood of their loved ones. Yet there they all stood, in the sickly-sweet smelling mud that surrounded the magical school, listening to a speaker on stage as he called out the names of the heroes who had bravely given their lives before, and during the Final Battle…

"… Albus Dumbledore… Alastor Moody… Severus Snape… Rufus Scrimegeour…"

Hermione bent her head to wipe her face with the sleeve of her robes as her tears continued to flow mercilessly down her cheeks and neck.

"... Colin Creevey… Fred Weasely… Bathilda Bagshot…"

Hermione felt someone slip something soft into her other hand, and looking down at it she saw that it was a green, silk handkerchief with the small letters "DM" embroidered at the corner, in silver thread.

She immediately knew who had given it to her, but couldn't bring herself to look up at the man standing behind her and thank him. Her emotional wounds needed more time to heal before that would be possible. All she could do was tilt her head to the side and give him a slight nod; platinum white hair flashed at the corner of her eye as he tipped his head in response.

She brought the handkerchief to her cheeks and blotted away the wet streaks left behind by her tears – subtly noting that the fabric smelled strongly of its owner – before turning her attention back to the man speaking on stage.

"… Charity Burbage… Dirk Cresswell… Gregorovitch…"

Hermione's head swam as the list of names went on and on… and then the speaker paused for a minute, shifting around the parchments he had been reading off of, as a very short man holding three big gold medals that were almost bigger than him, ran out across stage and handed them to the speaker.

"Will the next three people I call please come forward and stand in a line on the stage… Mr. Harry Potter… Mr. Ronald Weasely… and Ms. Hermione Granger."

The crowd erupted in applause, screams, shouts and whistles as the three friends made their way from their positions in the front row, to stand on the stage overlooking the masses of tear streaked faces that looked back up at them.

"I award these three heroes the Order of Merlin, First Class – " the crowd erupted in cheers again and the speaker had to pause and wait for their shouts to die down before he could continue on. "They are awarded for their outstanding courage in the face of danger, unsurpassable use of intellect, and the undoubtable amount of courage they displayed as they fought through the masses and weakened the opposing front… bringing down He Who Must Not Be Named!" and if it were possible, the crowd erupted in even louder applause; the noise level was making Hermione's ear drums vibrate.

The speaker turned from his podium and approached them. He shook their hands and congratulated them, then placed the huge medal around each of their necks as a Daily Prophet photographer continuously clicked away on his camera, blinding them with its constant flashes.

"Now! If the heroes would please each share a few words about their experiences and reflect on their triumphs with the rest of us!" the speaker stepped back and looked at them expectantly, but all three just stared back at him with wide eyes. "Potter, if you would please be the first to share…" the speaker added, then backed away from the podium again as Harry slowly walked up to it and leaned into the microphone.

"Uhh… I'm… sorry for your losses…." Harry said softly, and stepped away from the podium and made his way off stage.

"Um… not what I had in mind, but okay… Uhh, Ronald! Step forward! And please be a little more _descriptive_" the speaker looked at Ron with hopeful eyes, and Ron just gave him a disgusted look and shook his head, then turned and stalked off stage without a word.

Hermione understood where her friends were coming from because it was exactly how she felt… how disrespectful to all the lives that were lost and their grieving families to hold a _ceremony _a mere few weeks after their loved ones had been ripped away from them. And even more, to have it on the very ground where pieces of their bones were still littered across the muddy grass…

"Well then…. Ms. Granger… _please_." begged the speaker.

No… the last thing she wanted to do was give a speech about something so _horrible_… but she felt that the lives of the people who had died on _both sides_ deserved much more than they were getting… much more than even she could give… but she had to try… that was the only reason she stepped forward to the podium, and screamed into the microphone.

"The Dark Lord is dead!" she yelled as loudly as she could, and was met with deafening applause as the crowd nearly became out of control. Security had to step in and calm people down, and Hermione waited until it was quiet again before she continued on. "Death… it's something we all understand, something we've all dealt with, and will be the final adventure for us all... Death is universal..." the crowd was beginning to look at her questioningly now, and Hermione allowed the anger she had been feeling towards the magical community for the past month to flow freely now: "Death is the _ending_ of a human life, no matter whose it is! HOW DARE WE REJOICE IN IT!

"How many of you were there during the final battle?" Hermione was the only one that raised her hand, but nobody else in the crowd responded. "HOW MANY OF YOU WERE THERE?" Hermione screamed again, and slowly arms began to rise in the crowd as well. "… About twenty people, out of the thousands that stand before me… so then tell me, out of you 20, how many have nightmares every night of all the men you've killed during battle?" every hand stayed raised, including her own. "How many can't even blink without seeing their dying faces?" no one's hand fell. "How many of you rejoice in the number of people you've killed?" Hermione allowed her arm to slump to her side, and watched as other hands all over the crowd began to disappear, until not one stood up in the air.

"Martin Luther King Jr once said, 'I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Because returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.'" and with that, Hermione stepped away from the podium and slowly walked down the stairs, rejoining Harry and Ron in the front row; everyone's eyes were still on her, including a pair of silver ones that sparkled with gratitude.

Harry and Ron looked at Hermione with sad eyes that were on the verge of tears.

"Good job 'Mione" smiled Harry sadly, and Ron nodded, giving her a slight hug and whispering in her ear "Hit the nail on the head."

"Uhhhh… thank you for that Ms. Granger… we shall… uhhh… keep that in mind for the rest of our lives…" said the speaker awkwardly, pausing for a long time, before he came to his senses and continued on, "Uhh, now to name the other heroes that still walk among us that deserve recognition as well… with the Order of Merlin, Third Class."

The short man walked across the stage again and handed the speaker several smaller, silver medals; as he ran back across, he quickly glanced at Hermione, then jumped off the stage.

"Minerva McGonagall…"

The crowd parted, and Professor McGonagall walked down the path created and up the steps to the stage, where the man placed the silver medal around her neck and then said a few words in her honor.

This is how the ceremony proceeded as the speaker continued to call out names, each one met with applause as the medals were placed over their heads. But the tone that drifted through the crowd after Hermione's speech was different now… almost sadder in a way…

"Neville Longbottom… Rubeus Hagrid… Molly Weasely… Arthur Weasely… Ginny Weasely… Bill Weaseley…"

And the list of names went on and on as well, though much shorter than the list of the dead, it still felt like it had been over an hour when the last name was finally called.

"And lastly…" the speaker shifted awkwardly on the spot and then choked out, "… Draco Malfoy…"

No one in the crowd clapped as Draco walked up the steps and the speaker placed the medal over his head; silence echoed across the school grounds as more than half the crowd stared at him in shock, the other half in anger.

"Draco M-Malfoy," the speaker stuttered out as he began, "although played a great hand in the cause for the Dark Side, only did so because he had no other choice, being influenced by Death Eaters all his life… but when the time came for him to identify the famous Potter, Granger, and Weasley, so that the Death Eaters could take them to the Dark Lord…" the speaker glanced at Draco as he read the rest of the sentence in shock, "He refused to give a definite answer… even though he _clearly_ knew who they were… and because of this show of treason to the Dark Lord, he paid greatly… being tortured endlessly for hours… and for this, and many more reasons, Draco Malfoy has been awarded the Order of Merlin, Third Class…"

Whispers of shock and scrutiny broke out amongst the crowd and then spread like wild fire until it was almost a deafening roar. Draco realized that the beads of sweat on his face and body were beginning to make his hair and clothes stick to his skin as he internally struggled to keep himself from bolting off the side of the stage. But as soon as he shifted and took a step towards the edge, the whole crowd immediately fell silent again, causing him to pause and look out across the sea of faces that were staring back at him; he gulped. He forced himself to slowly put one foot in front of the other until he finally reached the stairs… that's when it happened...

Someone slowly started clapping… _for him_. He looked up to see who it was coming from and his eyes locked with her familiar brown ones that were framed by her usual halo of brown curls - Granger… Granger was clapping for him…? And she had a soft smirk on her face as she looked up at him. It took only seconds before it was two people clapping… then three… then ten. Before he knew it, everyone in the whole crowd was clapping for him. And for the first time in a _long_ time, Draco Malfoy smiled a _real _smile.

"Thank you Hermione." he whispered under his breath.

**_AUTHOR'S NOTE-_**

_**LET ME ALL KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! SHOULD I KEEP GOING? POSSIBLE IDEAS? ANYTHING =]**_

_** AND THANK YOU FOR READING!**_


	2. Escaping with You

**Living in the After**

**Chapter 2**

Shaking hands. Forcing a smile. Taking pictures. Making small talk. Signing autographs. Meeting the new Minister. Shaking more hands...

Hermione felt the first sign of hysteria tickle at the bottom of her spine as she glanced around: everywhere she looked all she saw were tables, hundreds of them all covered in elegant white linens, that were spread out across the front lawns of Hogwarts; and people… thousands and _thousands_ of people… all there to celebrate the war heroes that had just been awarded the Order of Merlin.

There was problem however… all the honorees had disappeared! _All of them_! Except for herself and Malfoy, who stood about 20 yards away from her and was surrounded by his own horde of witches and wizards badgering him for interviews, pictures and anything else they could think of.

'I can't do this…' panicked Hermione, as she felt the weight of the heavy metal she had received earlier during the ceremony, yet again dig into the back of her neck as another reporter tugged on it to get her attention. She turned and gave the offending wizard a stern glare as she swatted his hand away, and repositioned the medal. She winced; the area behind her neck had been rubbed raw and was now starting to sting as it came in contact with the sweat that had accumulated at the base of her skull. 'No, this is _way_ too much to handle in one day…'

* * *

><p>Over on Draco's side of the banquet, he was just trying to keep up the fort of his sanity before he lost it and punched someone. Reporters kept asking him personal questions about his family, which death eaters were actually guiltyinnocent, and so on and so on. But the most irritating out of all of the questions, happened to also be the most frequently one asked: "Malfoy! Were you branded with the Dark Mark?" and when he didn't answer, it was followed by "Show it to us! We know you have it!"

Draco's patience was greatly being tested and he wasn't sure how much more he could take. He had convinced himself about half an hour ago, when this whole paparazzi debacle had first began, that Merlin was glaring down at him from the heavens and taunting him, "So you really think you're cut out to be on the Light Side hmm? Well then prove it to me: don't kill any of these reporters."

Bloody hell, Draco was so close to just giving in and rejoining the Dark Side; 'Death Eaters never used this kind of inhumane torture on anyone!' he reasoned in his head.

Draco quickly glanced over at Hermione, wanting to remind himself that she was still there and hadn't left him to be devoured by the masses – like all the other honorees had. He was hoping to see at least a smile on her face, or anything that would hopefully tell him that he was just overreacting, and that they would be fine. But when he saw her face, he knew something was wrong: she looked well past the point of being overwhelmed. She'd stopped answering questions and was now just looking from face to face with wide eyes as she clutched at a stitch in her chest, trying to control her rapid breathing; he noticed the beginning stages of hyperventilation as he watched her chest rise and fall with unnatural speed. Just then, a few people started tugging on his sleeves trying to get him to answer their questions, but he just shook his head and started pulling away from them, attempting to head in the direction of where Hermione stood being harassed by the paparazzi; he needed to help her.

* * *

><p>"Ms. Granger, please! What was it like? How many people did you see… uh… ya know… die…" asked a reporter as he stuck the tip of his wand in Hermione's face, waiting for her to reply so he could record it. Just then, Malfoy showed up behind her and pushed the wand out of her face, giving the guy who had just asked the question a nasty glare.<p>

"Where is everyone?" he whispered into her ear so that only she could hear.

"I have no bloody idea." cursed Hermione, out of breath.

"A great big deal of help your friends are..."

Hermione didn't even try to defend them; her best friends had _abandoned _her! She was so hurt and betrayed that she knew she wanted to hurt Harry, Ron and all the others probably just as much as Malfoy did, if not more.

It was odd, with Malfoy standing behind her with his hand resting on her arm, she felt safe, almost calmer in a way; her breathing was beginning to slow and she didn't feel quite so over powered by the hundreds of people surrounding her anymore. That was until she saw a group of crying women pushing their way through the crowd, heading in her direction; their puffy-eyed, tear streaked faces sent a fresh wave of panic flooding through her veins, choking her with anxiety.

"Malfoy…" she looked up at him standing behind her, "_Please_" she begged. He took one look at the women a few yards away, then took a hold of Hermione's elbow and pulled her closer to him.

"I think it's about time we ditch this party, Granger. What do you say?"

"Yes please" she whispered.

Draco wrapped an arm around Hermione's shoulders and tucked her into his side, shielding her from the rest of the Daily Prophet reporters, admirers and family members of the deceased who still wanted to talk to her; in this moment, she would have given Malfoy anything he wanted in thanks for whisking her away from this nightmare.

He ran with her beside him, ducking here and there to avoid the people who had spotted them and started running after them, in hopes of being able to get another interview with the Golden Girl.

"Merlin Granger! It's like they're trying to _eat _you!" growled Draco as he shoved her down to the floor and pushed her underneath one of the linen covered tables. Then he followed after her, crawling on his hands and knees until he was behind the white curtain of fabric, completely hidden from the chaos outside.

Hermione stiffened as she realized how close Malfoy's body was to her's; the sheer size of his in comparison to her smaller, more frail one, made her mouth water.

"Its madness out there!" he exclaimed as he shifted the curtain of fabric apart to look back out at the hundreds of legs running around; he quickly pulled his head back in before someone spotted him.

"What happened to them? Why are the reporters suddenly going crazy today?" asked Hermione, completely confused by the paparazzi's sudden hysterical behavior.

"No idea… maybe because it was only the two of us? Where the hell are the others anyways? Why was it just us out there?"

"I have no idea… I haven't seen the others since they gave out the last Order of Merlin... then they just disappeared…"

"Bloody hell! When I get a hold of them, I swear!" growled Draco, "How the hell are we going to get away from them?"

"No idea..." sighed Hermione again, sliding her hands through her hair, and then yanking on it in frustration.

"Let's get out of here!" exclaimed Draco excitedly; she looked up at him and noticed that his eyes were sparkling.

"Yes Malfoy, that _is_ the point… I didn't plan on staying here, did you?"

"Argh! No Granger, that's not what I meant! I meant _away_," Draco waved his hand around in a vague gesture, "Away from all of _this_" Hermione raised an eyebrow, "Bloody hell! As in… argh!"

"Spit it out!" she snapped.

"I'm trying to!" Draco stopped and took a calming deep breath before he started again in a more even tone, "Okay… ever since the war ended, it's been like this: utter chaos. I can't deal with it! And I'm sure you can't either – all the yelling, the crying and the questions! Merlin, the questions! They don't stop! And it's all too bloody much to take! And now this?" Draco picked up the medal on his chest and lifted it in the air, "No… I need to get away… for _awhile_…"

Realization dawned as she finally realized what he meant – he wanted to leave, and not just to get away from this ceremony… he was talking semi-long term…

"You want to _leave_?" Draco nodded, "and you want… _me_ to go with you?" he paused, looking away from her, then he slowly nodded again; that took the air out of her lungs. And when she didn't respond for a long moment, he glanced back up at her; maybe he had a chance, she hadn't laughed at him or given him a solid no.

"We would be back before the beginning of term started" he tried to persuade her.

"Whe-where would we go?" she stuttered.

"Anywhere… anywhere you wanted… so long as it's away from here, then I'll be happy."

"… Anywhere? Anywhere _I_ wanted?" she hesitated.

"Anywhere." he confirmed again.

"No questions asked or arguments from you?"

"None." He didn't even flinch when he said it.

"_Why?_"

"Merlin Granger! Do you have to make everything so difficult?" he sighed, "everyone I either know or trust is rotting in a cell in Azkaban, awaiting trial from the Ministry – all because of who their parents are or just simply because they were in the wrong place, at the wrong time… I can't stay here and wait for them to either be let out or falsely convicted… I just _can't_… it'll drive me absolutely mad!"

"Okay… but why _me_?"

"Well it's not like I'm about to ask Potty or Weasel… besides, they could already be dead in a ditch somewhere for all we know."

"That's not funny Malfoy!"

"Fine… so, will you go then?" he asked hopefully.

"What happened to hating Mudbloods?"

"Those are just words Granger!"

"Words hurt Malfoy!"

"They shouldn't… what's that phrase that muggles say? Something like, 'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me'?" Hermione's mouth dropped open as she heard Malfoy recite the very well known _muggle _saying that kids sing back and forth to each other on the playground.

"How did you _know_ that?" she gasped.

"It's my father that hates muggles and muggle-borns, Granger, not me"

"You could have certainly fooled me…"

"I'll explain to you one day, but right now… I need an answer" he lifted the curtain to show her the people running around outside to remind her why they were still on a limited time schedule.

"This is _crazy _Malfoy!" she paused to seriously think about what he was asking her to do. Then after a few moments of serious consideration, she looked up at him with a glint of giddiness in her eyes, "Yes, I'll go with you" she said breathlessly.

Draco flashed her a dazzling smile, one that she had never seen on his face before. Then he reached for her hand and took it in his own. He gave her fingers a tight squeeze, then turned and started crawling out from under the table. Once out, he pushed himself up onto his feet and pulled her up beside him - then they started running.

They ran from the ceremony, from Hogwarts, from everything; heading towards the black wrought iron gates that encircled the magical fortress of Hogwarts, where the outside world lay just beyond.

Running felt good. It made her feel as light as a bird – gravity couldn't even hold her down now! She ran from everything – from her friends, the pain, the truth, reality… everything… especially the blood...

The wind tickled past her face and lifted her hair, sending it blowing in every direction around her head.

Hermione watched as her own feet pounded against the green grass of the rolling hills that surrounded Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She glanced next to her, to the feet that matched her step for step, his long legs keeping easy pace with her fast tempo. Her eyes roamed up his body, then paused on his face.

Malfoy had his eyes closed with a soft smile playing across the planes of his face – he looked free too. It hit her then – he was running from the same things she was. And in a way, it comforted her – she didn't feel so lonely anymore now that she knew there was someone else in the world that just needed to escape too; he made her feel understood.

Then she looked down at their intertwined hands.

'No, definitely not alone anymore' she thought, as a slow smile broke out across her face.

Just then, the two of them burst through the gates of Hogwarts, and he squeezed her hand as they jumped head first into the world beyond.

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE – **_

_**I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED THIS CHAPTER! =] PLEASE REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGH ABOUT IT =] AND I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR ANY OF THE IDEAS YOU MAY HAVE FOR THIS STORY! THANKS EVERYONE!**_


End file.
